Mirror Mirror

Unlike the slave in the magic mirror who tells the Wicked Queen how she is the fairest of them all, I have a devilish one who lives in my bathroom mirror and likes to make unsolicited comments as I stare bleary-eyed at my reflection as I get ready for the day.

And she doesn’t look like the imprisoned spirit in the Disney classic. No, she resembles Meryl Streep’s icy fashion editor, Miranda Priestly  in The Devil Wears Prada.  And instead of inflating my ego with words of adoration, my Miranda in the  Mirror sits behind her sleek desk impatiently drumming her perfectly manicured talons while pointing out all my physical flaws, real or imagined. Sometimes,  she switches tactics and spends her time telling me I am not smart enough, creative enough or talented enough to make my dreams come true and that I should just give up and go back to working a normal job.

I suspect I am not the only one who lives with an inner critic who peers out of the mirror as you get ready to face the day. Yours may not look like Miranda Priestly but his or her job is the same; to keep you small in a life that doesn’t really fit  by undermining your confidence  when what you really need is encouragement and kindness.

I do my best to defend myself from the onslaught of mirror Miranda’s disdain but she can be relentless. It is then that I have to pull out my wards against her black magic by implementing some magic of my own in the form of meditation, journaling, positive affirmations and mantras. Sometimes, I find the strength to ignore her snide comments but,  at other times,  I feel myself sinking into a depression that calls me to give up on my dreams and instead spend my time curled up on the couch binge watching Netflix.

Occasionally, we can be visited by our own fairy godmothers or fairy godfathers who help to break the spell of unloving inner thoughts. Sometimes they are strangers whom we pass on the street and with an unsolicited compliment or even a warm smile can raise our self-esteem and restore our positive outlook. And sometimes . . . sometimes they are beautiful souls who are part of our special tribe who know just when we need a lift.

I have the most generous people who support me and my work and they have sent me gifts which I always show as unboxing videos on my channel  One such viewer called Jorden,  has sent me many boxes over the years. She calls them Thoughtful boxes.  She never tells me when she has sent one and they always arrive during times when I am going through a challenge. And along with the wonderful gifts it is the time, effort and thoughtfulness that goes into these boxes that makes me feel cherished.

Just recently this happened again. A  dear Gentle Viewer by the name of Mette sent me a box of beautiful things but with an interesting twist. She chose things that she associated with me and my channel. When I opened the box there were layers and layers of gifts wrapped in beautiful white and gold packaging. The twist was the tags accompanying each package. They were vintage inspired with descriptions of things I have talked about or showcased on my channel but others were her take on some of the qualities she perceived I possessed. The items she gave me were beautiful and precious but the words she’d written on the tags are gifts I will carry in my  heart forever.

After filming the unboxing video,  I strung the tags on a bracelet and hung them on the wall above my desk so on those days when Miranda in the Mirror has reared her perfectly coiffed head in order to pull me down, I banish her presence with these magical talismans.

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Tag Sale Tingles

 

 

teacup

Teacup, the milk glass on the mantle and the rag rug are all second-hand treasures

I have filmed several ASMR videos showcasing my second-hand finds over the years that many of my Gentle Viewers seem to enjoy. The items have been everything from quilts, to tea cups,  to home decor and furniture. My sister and I have been picking up these little treasures for years as we have always lived on a fairly tight budget. And after decades of buying pressboard furniture and Ikea flat packs I craved solid furniture crafted to last for decades not months or a few years at best. And I love that each piece we buy has a history to it along with the patina of age.

Beautiful hand-made quilt

It is not just a budgetary or aesthetic preference that draws me to vintage pieces. It is the attempt to remove myself, as much as possible, from the consumer machine that dictates one must have the latest trend at the cheapest prices usually at the expense of the factory workers and the environment.

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The silver-plated tray was a 2 dollar find that holds all of my skincare products

Sometimes, I buy things specifically for a video especially if it is fabric I can use for my backdrops. And other times they are a springboard for ideas. Recently, I have been hunting down particular items for a vintage series I am planning for the new year. This video gives a hint about the subject matter.

We are lucky enough to live in a village that has three second-hand stores within walking distance and a larger one just a five-minute drive from home. And of course, during the summer and early fall there are a plethora of garage sales, estate sales and church bazaars to choose from.

My latest video showcased some lovely items I found in a garage sale held by the condo complex we are renting in. And as I said in the video, it was an introvert’s dream to just pop out my front door and walk a few feet to do some shopping. If you would like to see some of the tag sale tingles I have picked up take a look at the videos below.

 

Singularly Focused

 

I’ve been filming ASMR videos for four years now and I still love making them as much as I did when I was first starting out. I adore the creative freedom, working independently, connecting with viewers, discovering new things and overcoming challenges that inevitably crop up during the creative process.

Having made over two hundred videos, I’ve also noticed an odd occurrence. Whenever I am planning a rather complicated video requiring a multitude of props, logistical issues and days of research, when I hit record,  it goes without a hitch. Conversely,  the videos that have very few props or none at all, basic lighting and a simple premise end up being the most challenging.

This week’s videos fell into  the latter category. Both were viewer requests and because they seemed so simple I decided to film them back-to-back. The first request was for me to run my hands across a grey-blue towel creating a soft shushing sound rather like waves on the  ocean. The second video was tapping on different boxes. Both videos were just the sounds with no talking so all I had to do were basic movements for about an hour each to get a finished 30 minute video.

Five minutes into filming I realized how much of a challenge they were going to be. Without me talking throughout the video the ambient sounds became even more prominent and I kept having to stop filming to wait for a delivery truck to finish rumbling by or the ever-present train ( I live so close to the train I can see it out my window) to thunder past my house .

And running my hands over fabric for an hour straight or tapping endlessly and rhythmically was actually physically difficult. My arms and back muscles kept cramping and I would have to stop to stretch. It was quite painful and amusing at the same time. I can garden for hours hunched over or digging and hauling dirt but sitting down and tapping on boxes  almost did me in.

But the most challenging aspect was being alone with my own thoughts without any distractions for the two hours it took to film both videos. I have been struggling to make meditation a regular part of my routine and ten minutes is about as long as I can handle before wanting to bolt from the room. And these videos much to my surprise were very much like a mediation. I didn’t need to think about what I was going to say or do next, I could let my mind relax into the sounds I was creating and then I had nothing to do but feel the painful muscle cramps and observe the random thoughts that kept bouncing and nudging around in my consciousness.

It took until the very end of filming before the urge to be distracted and the uncomfortable feeling of just being subsided. What was left was a deep sense of peace. I don’t know if the viewer can sense what was happening to me while filming, I hope they can’t as these videos are meant to be relaxing, but that being said, I also wonder if the switch in my energy to that deeper relaxation could also be felt. You can watch the videos below and tell me what you think.

 

The Unexpected Side Effects of ASMR

As a viewer of ASMR videos, I know first-hand how beneficial they are for reducing anxiety and stress and some people have reported ASMR videos help alleviate their insomnia. I first started making videos as a creative outlet but I didn’t realize until I began to upload on a regular basis that there are several side effects of being an ASMR content creator that no one ever told me.

A sense of community: the viewers on my channel share not just their struggles with depression, anxiety or insomnia but also the more positive events in their lives such as getting a long desired job, or moving into their dream home or giving birth (one of my viewers even took my videos in to watch during her labour) or getting through the day without having a panic attack. Whether it is sharing the challenges or the triumphs, my Gentle Viewers and I have created a safe, judgemental space to come together to share our stories and be heard.

Support and encouragement: I was delightfully surprised at how supportive, caring and genuine my Gentle Viewers are. They understand how much time and effort goes into filming, editing and uploading two videos a week and they let me know on a regular basis how grateful they are for my efforts.

Collaboration: My viewers will on occasion make suggestions to improve my videos and they have been so helpful in making my videos better. And they always word their insights with such kindness that it can never be taken as anything other than wanting to help me get better as a content creator.

Teaching me the art of receiving: As a people-pleaser it is very difficult for me to be on the receiving end of gratitude. And at first I learned to embrace the lovely things my viewers were leaving in the comments without feeling uncomfortable. And then I had viewers astound me with gifts such as composing the music for my intro, a three month’s subscription to Birchbox so I could continue doing beauty unboxing, plants and goodies from the Netherlands and most recently a curated beauty box from a fellow Canadian.

So if you are looking for a drug free alternative that may help you relax why don’t you check out ASMR videos and be prepared for some unexpected side effects that may include more kindness, understanding and support.

Dutch Delights

butterflybox

Gifts From Nature

I have always felt an affinity with Mother Earth. I am most at home when surrounded by trees, mountains and wildlife. Much to my delight and surprise I have also received healing from Gaia’s energy so I am no stranger to the power that exists in nature.

Some of her gifts are from the crystal and mineral kingdom. My experience with crystal healing energy has been that they work on a very gentle, subtle level.  And although I have a few crystals in my possession I haven’t really worked with them for over five years. That all changed last month when I found myself being negatively affected by the dramatic change in energy in my home and was guided to bring in new crystal energy to assist with the problem.

Through many synchronistic events, I ended up purchasing several crystals and an Crystal Energy Reading from Diane at Free Spirit ASMR. I have had so many crystals come into my life lately that I had to make two ASMR videos showcasing them and telling the stories about how they came into my life, the power of these magical beings, and how they dramatically healed the energy in my home and in myself.

So for your enjoyment and relaxation here are my two ASMR videos on my new crystal babies.

Crystal Reading S&T

crystal babies

ASMR ~ Kinetic Sand

Over the last three weeks, I’ve filmed two colossal videos, an extra Holiday video and my regular weekly Oracle Card videos. So this week, I’ve gone back to a simple relaxing video of playing with Kinetic sand and keeping my talking to a minimum (which, if you know me, is always a challenge). Hope this helps with getting you through the January blahs.

kinetic sand